How come?

I always seem to forget how easily hopes can melt. I always seem to forget how easily one can dwell, but not live. Survive, but not live. What is surviving after all? Is it an illusion? Is it some scarce memory of life? Are we responsible for letting it take hold of our lives?

There are these days when I forget about who I am or who I want to be. There are these nights when I feel more like myself than I ever feel throughout one day. And there are these moments - which I cannot timely map - when I switch from me to nothing and from nothing to me back. Is this even possible?

Are we even here? What is it that we are, do, hope for, wish, love? Are we wasting our time? Does it really matter - what we do and what we are? How can we find out? Do we matter?

It is these questions that make me forget the daily nonsense I step into. It is these questions that make me not settle for what's here, but strive for understanding the meaning of life. Still, the in-between time .. is sometimes unbearable.