i forgive you.

all the fears, all the doubts you had and still have. i forgive all of them. you knew nothing better than you did, and that should be your punishment alone. i will not be angry at you anymore, i will not. i promise.

my darling, i forgive you.

anew

all the words that we ever said to each other were previously said before.
all the thoughts that we thought were thought before.
all the fights that we fought were fought before.
and all the hopes that we hoped were hoped before.
this world may seem new to you, but it is as old as we'll ever know it.

in this old world, we do not belong together. you have your lion pride, i have my wolfpack. you roar atop the sunrise, i howl under the moonlight. as electric as the sun might get, it will never find a place for both of us under itself. you belong in the light, i belong in the dark. that is just how it is supposed to be.

but someday this world will collapse. and a new one will appear from under the ashes. i will meet you on the outside of the forest in the new world. right before the dawn, when hearts speak most honestly. and when the skin has a mind of its own. i will meet you in the new world, ready to break all the rules there are. ready to take on a brand new life. in the new world.

low will

remember that night we sat under the willow, branches whispering around us? we told each other all the secrets and stroked all the fears. you held my hand and swore you wouldn't stop until our dreams became true. then we fell asleep in each other's arms.

i miss that night and i miss you. the secrets are out, the fears are gone, but the dreams are still dreams. your hand is holding someone else's hand and you arms are hugging someone else. you are kissing someone else's lips and taming someone else's wildness.

i passed by that willow a couple of days ago. it grew almost twice, but it still is as thick and concealing as it used to be. under it may very well still whisper the younger versions of ourselves, naively swearing love to each other. in a paralel reality we are still together, still dreaming. still in love. only the willow can take us there. reality strikes too hard outside its crown.

watch me

- stop looking at me like that. 
- like what?

- like i am one of your objects. 

- but you are so beautiful. how could i?

- right. you are so cruel. how could you?

...

- and stop thinking about me.

- how do you even know i am thinking of you?

- it's in your eyes, i see it. 

- but you are so wondrous. why should i?

- right. you are so weak. why should you?

...

- just leave me alone. please. leave me. 

- you are so close. it is impossible. 

- than i will leave you. and that should be the end of it all. 

- you won't dare. you know that.

- watch me.